Pete Nickeas

Home is where you want to be when it first snows each fall/winter.

And right now, Casper isn’t feeling like home. It was to be expected. Springfield barely felt like home. But I don’t know that our current place of residence will ever feel like home.

I look back now and wish I appreciated what I had. With a decent income, we could’ve stayed there for a very, very, very long time.

In retrospect, of course, I miss Springfield. Now, it feels like I could call that place home. I have (almost) nothing but good memories about that place.

Walking distance from everyone who I hung out with AND walking distance from the bars. That in itself is pretty effing cool. Location of numerous pot lucks, breakfast and otherwise. A block from work. What more could you ask for?

Plus, we had a room with a view. A balcony with a gorgeous view of the Illinois capitol building. As dirty as you could feel working there, it was still something spectacular to see during the winter when the streets were dead and there was a light snow.

It actually didn’t snow when we were there. A lot of muck but no actual snow accumulation that lasted more than a morning. Frozen ice and shit too, but mostly just grime.

Anyway, we’ve only been here three months. It’s early yet. There’s no telling how I’ll feel after 7 months, which is where we were on Dec. 15 of 2008.

But, I look out my window, and I’m not five floors above a city. I don’t see the state capitol. My friends are not walking distance. When it snows (it has already), I don’t feel a sense of belonging.

Moving forward, though, whether I feel comfortable or not, Casper is my new home. It’s where we are. Though I miss what I’m familiar with, we’re slowly becoming accustomed to a different way of life out here. We haven’t changed our habits — just learning to tolerate those of an entire had been difficult enough.

The onset of winter, which should happen tonight (I’m not joking, it’s going to snow tonight and then it’s going to be in the 30’s until next week. Then a couple days of nice, then winter again), will undoubtedly endear us to Casper.

Until then, though, I feel like we’re in an odd state of limbo. It doesn’t feel like home but I don’t feel like I’m visiting either. Kind of like moving into a spot in Milwaukee 10 years ago. Just kinda was there.

With time I suppose. We shall see.